Where Ever Would I Find The Time?
by lolwrwg
Summary: After the announcement of the war, Mrs Hughes is plagued by doubts, Mr Carson offers her a shoulder but as the weeks go by the weight of the war is taking its toll. Can they withstand the uncertain future together? or will it tear them apart?
1. Chapter 1

"…_I very much regret to announce… that we are at war with Germany" he declared, his voice calm and controlled despite the shocked faces that were growing by the second around him. _

Those words kept repeating themselves, swirling around her brain. Mrs Hughes sighed tiredly as she ran her fingers over the top of her tea cup. It was indeed late, far past any time that a person should be awake, yet here she was, sat in the kitchen in nothing but her night gown and shawl, her curly hair usually pinned up cascading down the side of her shoulder. She had tried so hard to find sleep but it would not come, the awful events of the past few days haunting her mind. First Williams's mother then her ladyship's baby and now this, could this house not catch a break? She shook her head resting it in the palm of her hand as the other made idle shapes on the table.

"May I join you?"

Mrs Hughes jumped slightly before looking at Mr Carson, his lamp in hand and also dressed in his night clothing.

Smiling gently she pointed to the chair next to her "Please, I could use the company"

Mr Carson smiled and walked forward, placing his lamp beside hers before taking the chair on her left and Turing it slightly to face her.

"Would you like some tea?" she said kindly as he sat next to her.

Mr Carson nodded "I see I'm not the only one who was finding it hard to sleep given recent events Mrs Hughes?" he said as she stood going over to the kettle and quickly making a tea.

"No you are not, but please, call me Elsie, we are at war. I know that doesn't mean the world has to stop functioning, far from. But I think a first name basis is certainly in need at this moment in time" she said before walking back over to him and handing him his tea.

"I agree and in that case call me Charles…" he replied before taking a sip of his hot tea.

Elsie looked at him, taking in his strong exterior but knowing that deep down he had a heart of gold, one so loyal and understanding it was astonishing. Looking down at her cup she spoke "It's strange, we have known each other all these years yet we never used each other's first names, always so formal" she said looking back at him.

Charles nodded and smiled "That may be true but in every other form you were my friend, my friendly advisor, the ear that listened when things troubled my mind deeply. A name is a name, something we hide behind and use as an identity, we craft it to our own but it does not show who you are. Name's do not matter" he said and Elsie chuckled softly.

"When did you get so wise and philosophical?" she said raising a teasing eyebrow.

Charles joined her laugh and revelled in her soft Scottish accent, the way it rolled perfectly off her tongue and caressed his skin. Clearing his throat and mind of such inappropriate thoughts he sat back slightly "Now that we have got our pointless and annoying thoughts out of the way, i think it's time we discussed why you are down here"

Elsie turned her head to look at him "Not you?" she replied.

Charles fidgeted for a moment before answer "Ladies first" he said back cleverly.

Elsie nodded and rolled her eyes "Of course"

Charles watched amused but ignored her eye roll and waited patiently for her to open up. The silence stretched before them, the sound of a distant clock in the hall drifting its way through. Elise looked at him, her eyes pouring into his and shrugged "What is there to say?" looking down at her cup again she licked her lips and continued, not starting from any specific point just making idle comments, hoping they would somehow click together "No doubt men will be recruited or sign up willingly" she swallowed the thought making her sick but Charles stayed quiet, lending an ear like she had done so many times "Thomas has already and though I'm glad to see him go I can't stand the thought that he's risking his life"

She closed her eyes and Charles reached out and lay a hand on top of hers, rubbing soothing circles "And then there's Bates and Anna, a blind man could see the tension between the two and knowing Bates, how honourable he is he will no doubt join the army again, leaving poor Anna so heartbroken and then theres lady Mary, the state she's been in of late, the engagement at loss and the possibility that he may be recruited or join, I think we may as well admit that the house is crumbling!" She said finally looking at him "I can't stand this Charles, the war has barely begun and look what state I'm in!" she sobbed, tears breaking free from their once tight barriers.

Elsie did not show her emotions easily Charles knew, so to see her so distressed, her heart showing so blatantly concerned him. Gently he reached over making her sobbing form stand before drawing her over and making her sit on his lap. Usually such a sight would be highly inappropriate but he knew the circumstances demanded such, and so as she sat on his lap he wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back caringly as she curled into his side.

Elsie indeed too knew the compromising situation they were causing for themselves but as she sobbed into his chest gripping his robe she didn't care, for all she cared about in that moment was the sweet comfort and support Charles's tall strong form provided.

As she cried Charles spoke "You are strong Elsie, if I know you and I certainly do, I know you will pick yourself up, you will carry on. Do not fret about things that are yet to happen" he said trying to soothe her and calm her fears "You don't know that Bates will leave, you just don't know, so don't think about the future don't think about what could happen, think about what you make of it, think of what you can make of now" he said quietly, Elise's sobs subsiding slowly.

After a few minutes she looked up and Charles sighed sadly at how vulnerable and scared she looked, her red eyes and wet cheeks. Carefully he wiped her tears away and was secretly pleasantly surprised when she didn't pull away or flinch, her glistening eyes just watching him.

Half way through wiping away her tears she spoke, her voice soft and quiet "What about yourself?"

Charles frowned "What about me?"

Elsie swallowed and suddenly found his touch burned, but still she stayed, ensconced in his embrace "Will you leave and sign up?" she said looking into his deep eyes.

Charles eyebrows rose in surprise and if he was honest with himself he hadn't really thought about it, he had been too preoccupied with sorting to his employer's needs "I… I don't know. I haven't really thought about it" he said honestly.

"But if you did think about it?" she said searching his eyes, for what she did not know.

Charles's hands that were now wrapped around her small waist squeezed lightly a shiver going down Elsie's body "For now I'm not going anywhere" he replied as he smiled gently "Where would I ever find the time?" he said repeating her words from a few weeks ago.

Elsie chuckled and lent her head back on his chest both of them relishing in this rare comforting contact. The two stayed there for what seemed forever and soon enough both had drifted to sleep.

O00ooo0

Shuffling feet surrounded the kitchen and whispers filled the corridors.

"What shall we do?" Daisy said a little too loudly causing Mrs Patmore to hit her arm and give her a pointed look.

Anna shook her head as she peered into the kitchen. All the staff had thought that there was indeed something between the two heads of staff but no one had ever seen anything, well nothing like this at least. The maids even their employers had all seen the playful looks and companionship they shared, but this, no nothing like this.

Anna sighed Turing around "Daisy go get Mr Bates before anyone else comes, and don't breath a word to anyone!" she said ushering the young kitchen maid off.

Mrs Patmore chuckled shaking her head "I never thought I'd see the day, and there I was thinking she was an old spinster" she whispered and it Anna's turn to give a pointed look.

After a few minutes an on edge daisy and Mrs bates came running around the corner quickly followed by William.

Anna looked at daisy annoyed "I thought I said Mr Bates not whole staff!" she whispered furiously.

Daisy twisted her hands "I know, and I'm sorry but William was with Mr Bates and so he wanted come too, what was I supposed to do? And besides Williams not the whole staff" she said her eyes begging for forgiveness.

Mar Bates walked forwards and his eyebrows rose at the sight. It was indeed sweet and had been suspected for a long time but knowing the two like he did he knew that the two would not want the whole house knowing. Turing back to look and the staff he spoke "Right, anyone here now, must not breathe a word of this ever! You don't know what has gone on nor do we know that this wasn't merely a friend comforting the other. So I want you to keep your mouths shut. Is that understood?" he finished looking at the nodding heads around him "Good, now go to work, things may be a little rushed this morning and I don't want any complaining or any rumours or whispers" he said nodding them all off.

Turning back to the kitchen Mr Bates took a deep breath and entered the kitchen. He knocked loudly on the door and watched as Mrs Hughes and Mr Carson started to wake. When Mrs Hughes quickly stood out of shock and no doubt and embarrassment he averted his eyes "Excuse me Mrs Hughes, Mr Carson. I did not wish to interrupt or disrespect your privacy but it is indeed morning, only I, Daisy, Mrs Patmore, Anna and William know of your… late waking this morning. They will not breathe a word nor presume anything, so Mrs Hughes, Mr Carson" he said swiftly and nodding his head before leaving.

Elsie stood there in shock before turning slowly to look a Char, no, Mr Carson. She looked down as he stood trying to look at anything but him "Forgive me Mr Carson, I did not mean t…"

"Elsie, please, do not ask for forgiveness I cannot give, what I mean to say is forgiveness that you do not need. You have done nothing wrong, last night we merely consoled each other" he said and Elsie raised an eyebrow.

"Console? Charles…" she sighed in annoyance at the quick adaptation of using his name "Mr Carson, I slept in your lap! Does this not seem scandalous to you?" she said, her accent getting broader as her anger came through "When a friend is consoled they then don't go and sleep in your lap!" she shouted more angry at herself than anything. Turing around she ran her fingers through her hair before turning back "Oh what have you done Elsie?" she whispered.

Charles watched as she shouted at herself and couldn't help but laugh.

Elsie looked up when she heard him laughing and her mouth dropped open "Charles!" she reprimanded "Would you please stop, this is not a laughing matter" she said a smile threatening the edges of her lips.

"Oh I know, but the sight of you working yourself up is indeed amusing" he said smiling only just now noticing that her shawl was not on, looking around he quickly found it on the floor by the chair and picked it up before handing it to a blushing Mrs Hughes.

She wrapped it around herself before looking at him again "Everything aside, I wanted to thank you Charles, you were very much the ear and comfort I was in need of last night and for that I thank you" she said sincerely.

Charles nodded and smiled "It was my pleasure, now I think you will agree that, we must be getting on" he said and Elsie nodded before heading out of the kitchen.

Authors note: I love these two and i totally think they should be a couple so i wrote a little story for them. I might continue this, please review to tell me what you think and if i should. Thankyou! :D


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

The week passed by without incident, only the few occasional lingering looks but no more than usual and soon enough the annual summer picnic had arrived. Every year, the family and even the staff went down to the beach for a picnic. Of course the servants still had to give out food and attend to their employers but most of the time they were given time to go off and swim. Despite the bad news of late, the picnic was to still continue in hopes that it would lift not only the staffs spirits but the family's too.

Mrs Hughes's spirits were indeed in need of a lift as she stood in the kitchen listening to Mrs Patmore ranting about flower.

"… I need the flower now so I can make the cake for tomorrow, I can't very well get it myself when there are still sandwiches to be packed and…"

"Yes Mrs Patmore! I understand now if you would stop shouting down my ear I will get it for you" Elsie snapped before turning swiftly.

She couldn't stand it when Mrs Patmore was like this, the constant whining going in one ear and out the other, it was entirely nauseating. Unlocking the store cupboard she walked inside and lit one of the lamps. Looking around she located the flower but sighed at how big and heavy she knew it would be.

She tried to pull it out, using her whole weight to try and shift it off the shelf but had no success she tried again and it shifted little before a voice interrupted her.

"Here, let me be of assistance"

Mrs Hughes smiled as Mr Carson took one end as she took the other "Thank you" she said as they started to lift the heavy package.

Outside Thomas walked passed and heard the quiet voices in the store cupboard, seeing the key in the door he quickly shut it and locked it behind him before walking out to the front where everyone was gathering for the outing.

Back in the store cupboard Mrs Hughes and Mr Carson looked at each other in shock as the door slammed shut on them, the sound of it being locked echoing around them.

Shifting the flower back onto the shelf they quickly went to the door and started banging.

"I will certainly kill that boy!" Mrs Hughes said in an unladylike fashion.

Charles was aghast at her language but ignored it "Who?" Charles said as he tried bashing into the door but with no success of budging it.

Elsie turned to him, anger lacing her face "Who do you think? That wretched creature of a man, Thomas!" She said as she paced up and down.

Charles sighed breathlessly and stopped his attempts of bashing down the door and looked at the fuming Elsie "You don't know it was him, what evidence have you?"

Elsie looked at his soft features "Evidence, I don't need evidence, he is leaving is he not?, and has never liked us has he not? What other evidence do you need? Besides who else would do this, I certainly do not know of anyone!" she snapped before sitting down on several large packages of flower.

Charles sighed understanding her anger, it was the first day off they had had in a long time and it had been horridly snatched away by that sly boy.

Taking the step ladders he moved them in front of her and sat down "Well there's nothing we can do now. Everyone is no doubt gone and we have to make the best of what we have" he said trying to think positive, but even he was having doubts.

Elsie looked up and smiled at his attempts to look on the Brightside "Well at least we won't starve to death" she joked and Charles chucked softly.

"See that's the spirit" he said nudging he knee gently and Elsie smiled "Now what shall we do?" he said looking around.

"There isn't exactly much, apart from food and wine and maybe a few spirits but most of that's in the cellar" she replied looking around.

Charles nodded knowing that they kept a few alcoholic beverages for cooking for quick access when they were rushed off their feet with big parties "Well… how about we have our own picnic?" he said looking at her.

Elsie raised an eyebrow

"We could scrounge up a few things up, bread cheese maybe a little ham and…" he said pointing a finger getting up.

Elsie watched him with excited breath as he moved across the room over to a rack of wines and her mouth dropped slightly when he picked one up and brought it back over.

"A bottle of wine to go with it" he said smiling.

Elsie laughed in astonishment "Charles! We can't very well steal the wine, the food, possibly but the wine!" she exclaimed.

"No one will know and I'd say we deserve it" he replied handing it to her as he looked for the bread.

Elsie took it still shocked and looked at the label "This is expensive and no doubt 50 years old… we can't…"

"We can and will" he said coming back over with a loaf of bread and several napkins and towels that he had found "Now come my dear, sit on the floor with me and put the food on the cloth's" he said and eventually Elsie obeyed.

After a few minutes they had fallen into a simple yet comfortable routine. Charles would find the food and Elsie would then share it out. Unfortunately they had no proper cutlery only the knife that was always left in the store cupboard to cut bread.

Finally Charles sat down beside her and observed their quickly made lunch. It consisted of bread, smoked ham made by Mrs Patmore, cheese, the wine, tomatoes and some sort of sauce that Mrs Patmore had made the day before and put in here for safe keeping, all in all it looked quite delicious.

"No glass's?" Elsie asked as she watched him sit.

"One" he said holding it up "We can share, that is if you don't mind?" he said looking at her apprehensively hoping that he hadn't crossed a line.

Elsie shook her head and smiled "That will be fine Charles, now let's eat" she said and Charles nodded before opening the red wine.

They ate in comfortable silence making the occasional odd comment. In a way it was rather romantic, the candle light from the lamp making everything glow and the air sensually thick and languid. They would be casually eating when their eyes would connect; the candle light making them glisten and Elsie's heart would beat faster as a shiver and heat cursed through her, a heat she thought would never return.

Everything was lovely and the bread dipped in the sauce was surprisingly good. Soon enough mostly of the food was gone both of them sharing out the wine.

The wine, no doubt, was not helping but still she drank, watching him over the glass as she did so.

Charles watched with curious eyes as she drank and he looked down at the almost empty bottle, getting up he went for another and Elsie raised an eyebrow the alcohol making her a little more at ease, no doubt it was helping him too.

"I'd say we can push a little and have another" he said sitting back down and opening it.

Elsie chuckled "I would protest but it seems all my senses are a little off" she said smiling; she was not drunk, definitely not drunk, just enough to be at ease and a little more relaxed than usual.

"Here" he said handing her the glass after he had drunk some.

Elsie nodded in thanks and sat back against the wall "Mmm this is nice. Nicer than I thought it would be" she said looking around them.

Charles smiled "Does my company bore you that much?" he teased and Elsie laughed tapping her shoe against the floor.

"Don't be silly Charles, your company is indeed divine" she said smiling.

"Yours isn't too bad either" he teased back and Elsie rolled her eyes happily at his playful manner.

"I do say, I think this wine has gone to your head a little Mrs Carson" she said leaning forward looking at him intently.

"Not as much as yours" he replied back.

Elsie scoffed enjoying this playful banter "Not at all Charles, when I was younger I could always hold my liquor, sometimes more than the men!" she protested proudly and Charles laughed, liking the relaxed side of Elsie, it was indeed a pleasant sight.

"Rebellious were we Elsie?" he questioned.

"More than I like to admit" she said putting the glass to the side.

Charles nodded in understanding remembering some of the stages he had gone through when he was a strapping young lad.

Minutes passed endlessly by as Elsie sat there, the alcohol flooding through her system and though people used to say that alcohol numbed you, she felt as if she were on fire, every sense awakened and enhanced, the lust and strong feelings towards Charles undeniable. She tried to look away but her eyes seemed fixed, feelings and sensations she thought long gone racing through her.

She felt her cheeks flush as he looked at her, his eyes curious and confused. She didn't deny that she thought highly of him but never had such arousing thoughts hit her with such unbelievable clarity.

Needing a distraction she got up and went over to find some more bread when suddenly the lamp light faded and went out completely. Elsie stiffened and Charles called out.

"Stay where you are, I'll come to you" he said as she heard him shuffling about.

When she felt something touch her she jumped but calmed quickly when Charles assured her it was him.

"I thought I had put more oil in the lamp, apparently not" she said and heard Charles chuckle.

She swallowed as she felt his hand trail down her arm and to her hand.

"Come and sit over here with me" he said quietly and she let him lead her. She relished in those few sentences, his deep husky voice soothing her and by the way he said it she could tell he was struggling with intensity between them. But though she thought he would retreat, the way he held her hand so gently and how he pulled her close as they sat it told her that she was not alone in her feelings.

She wanted to voice them, proclaim her feelings, but what were they? Was it a mere infatuation that would quickly pass? or was it more?, she did not know, all she knew was that when he came near she felt safe and with every touch her skin burned, surely no infatuation could feel so intense could it?

Minutes passed and her body seemed to melt into his, idle touches filling the time. She was drawing idle patterns on the top of his hand when he spoke.

"Elsie?" he said gently.

Elsie looked up the faint outline of his face visible "Yes Charles?" she said her voice so smooth and her accent so perfectly defined.

He smiled and shook his head "Nothing my dear, I just wanted to hear your voice" he said quietly.

Elsie chuckled softly and snuggled into his side deeper "That's perfectly fine… I like to hear yours too" she said tenderly.

And though she could not see it she knew he was smiling with delight.

Taking the hand that lay against her right waist she interlocked their fingers, the silent love and small gestures between them making her heart flutter and her stomach flip. Though her hand was on top of his he still stroked the ends of her fingers where they curled into his large strong palm.

She closed her eyes and smiled but her breath suddenly caught when he stretched out his palm, still keeping their fingers interlaced, and started running their fingers down the side of her thigh. The sensation was overwhelming and with the other hand she unintentionally squeezed his leg causing a shiver to run through his body.

He stopped and she released her grip as he started running their fingers back up her leg. Her worn eyes were transfixed on the dark hazy image as their fingers came back up, so close to the fire that was building between her legs. Breaking her gaze she looked up, though she couldn't really see, she knew he was close as she could feel his breath caressing her face and she couldn't help but lick her lips apprehensively.

His hand moved from her thigh up her waist and stomach, all the way along her ribs, his body turning and pressing against her, closer…

Suddenly the sound of footsteps and the door being unlocked interrupted them and they drew away from each other quickly.

They both squinted as the light came blasting through, their eyes slowly adjusting to the change.

Mrs Patmore came in and looked at them "I knew it! That Thomas is going to get a beating when I see him!" she said as she came over to help them up.

As Elsie got up she spoke "Wait, what happened Mrs Patmore? Cha… Mr Carson and I were getting the flower when suddenly the door slammed shut on us. Obviously we assumed it was Thomas as he was the one with the only motive but were you not suspicious that we did not come?" she said as they started walking out of the store cupboard.

Mrs Patmore looked down sheepishly "We did find it odd, but you two more than anyone know how good of a liar he is… he said that you two were too busy and had things to do for miss Sibyls party tomorrow and said that you two told him to tell us that you would not be able to attend"

Charles shook his head "I see... Don't worry Mrs Patmore, no harm was done, I will speak to Thomas, he may be leaving soon but while he still works here he must obbey the rules" he said and Mrs Patmore nodded before walking away.

Slowly Elsie turned to look at him. She smiled nervously, what reason she did not know, for only a minute ago he had been running his hands quite comfortably down her leg "The store cupboard, we need to c…"

He cut her off "I will clear everything don't worry" he said smiling, he too nervous.

Elsie looked down and twisted her hands, this was ridiculous she was acting like a teenage girl, it was absolutely preposterous! "Well In that case, i will bid you goodnight Mr Carson" she said nodding politely

"Goodnight Mrs Hughes" he said kindly.

But before she left she turned back "Mr Carson?"

He turned and looked at her "Yes?"

She hesitated but only for a moment "Nothing, I just wanted to hear your voice" she said before leaving.

Authors note: Hehe, what do you think? Good? Bad? Amazing? God damn awful? I know in the first chapter Mrs Hughes seemed more ridged and in this chapter she is looser but bear in mind she had a drink, just had to say that :D Anyway please review! I always love to hear what you think! Thank you! :D


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

The next day was indeed a rush and the slight headache from the wine the previous night did not help as Elsie rushed around making sure food went out at the right time and everyone had plenty of drinks, even helping serve at points.

It was around 4.00 o'clock and Lady Sybil had blown out the candles on her cake which Mrs Patmore had practically worked all night on when Mrs Crawley came over to her and Elsie bowed politely.

"Is there anything I can do your ladyship?" she asked kindly.

Mrs Crawly shook her head smiling "No thank you, I just wanted to praise you on what you have done today, and that it would be perfectly fine for you and the staff to take a break for a bit, you've all worked immensely heard and Sybil's having a wonderful time, so I'm sure we can take care of ourselves for about half an hour" she said kindly and Elsie beamed with delight.

"Thank you your ladyship. I will let the others know but will remain close by if you need anything" she replied and Mrs Crawly nodded before going back to the party outside.

Soon enough the staff knew and went to get a drink for heat of the day was getting to them. After searching high and low for Charles she finally found him in the cellar and smiled as she watched his tall frame crouching in the small room.

"Ah there you are!" she said walking up to him, her small height letting her stand up.

Charles turned around and smiled "Mrs Hughes" he replied smiling.

"Come on stop breaking your back, we have a break and I'm sure you don't really want to spend it in a stuffy cellar" she said and Charles chuckled.

"Indeed, that would be rather… depressing if I do say so. But with you, i think it could be rather enjoyable" he said and Elsie rolled her eyes at him trying to hide her blush. Charles saw it though and smiled in secret delight that he could make her blush so before following her up the stairs and out.

Once they were out and the door locked he looked at her "Care to join me for a walk?" he asked looking down at her gently.

"I would love to" she replied smiling

He smiled back and offered her his arm to which she chuckled at but took gladly.

They walked outside and Charles looked around nodding in approval "Once again you have managed to pull off a wonderful party Elsie" he said and Elsie relished in how easily they went from their professional stations and slipped into a comfortable non-professional status.

"Well I didn't do it all, the maids and servants did most of it I just organised it and helped here and there" she said as they walked slowly towards the lake.

"Ah but without you my dear there would be no party" he said and Elsie blushed not only at his compliment but at the way he called her 'My dear' the word been said to her before but it now having a whole new sentiment and meaning.

She looked up at him and smiled her hand slowly trailing down his arm and into his hand "And without you this house would surely crumble" she said sincerely and Charles smiled back, squeezing her hand in return.

"Hmm it seems that together we make quite the team" he said as they neared a weeping willow, the long vines and leaves hiding them as the rounded it.

"Indeed it does" she said as they came to a stop. The tension from yesterday had crept up upon them once again and as Elsie looked into Charles's deep dark eyes her heart couldn't help but beat faster. In the distance they could hear the band playing a smile crept up along the side of Charles's lips.

Holding out his hand he spoke, his voice deep and soothing "Care to dance Mrs Hughes?" he said gently yet laced with cheek and mischief a side not many people saw but once they had they could never go back to seeing the completely stern Butler.

"I would love to Mr Carson" she said as she took his hand and stepped forward. Elsie watched as their fingers interlocked before her other hand reached up to his shoulder and then slowly his hand slid around her slim waist and to her back, the action making her bite her bottom lip gently.

They started swaying, no particular dance just a simple embrace. Each sway drew them closer and closer until their bodies were touching and then finally Elsie reached the final barrier and rested her head against his upper chest as Charles rested his head against hers, inhaling the sweet scent of her clean hair, lavender and something that just reminded him of her.

Her soft voice cut through the comfortable silence "I meant to ask you earlier, did you clear the food and wine from the store cupboard yesterday?" she said as they swayed.

Charles smiled at her concern "I did" he replied unhurriedly, their movements and everything about them languid and lethargic.

"Good, good" she replied closing her eyes as they swayed a few more times "Charles?" she whispered.

"Yes Elsie?" he mumbled into her hair the feeling of his lips against any part of her making her shiver.

She went to speak but nothing would come out. She so desperately needed to know where they stood but she was scared, scared that the answer that she wanted to hear would not come. She was his friend his confidante, the shoulder to cry on when he needed it and the support when things went so disastrously downhill and the same went for her. He had always been there so now, here, on the brink of having so much more did she stop. She wanted to speak, wanted him with all her heart but doubts filled her mind, what if it didn't work out and went terribly wrong? His friendship was so precious that she didn't think she could bare it if she were to lose it.

"Elsie?" he said again when she did not speak.

She couldn't, not yet "Nothing" she said and they kept on swaying, her grip tightening ever so slightly.

Charles did not ask what plagued her mind for he knew if she truly wanted to ask him or tell him something she would do so in her own time so he too tightened his grip on her and they continued to sway just enjoying the lethargic way they danced and how their bodies just seemed to meld into each other.

Slowly he brought their interlocked fingers near to their touching chests the action bringing them even closer if that was possible. Elsie sighed in contentment and then slowly the song ended.

The broke apart reluctantly and for what seemed like forever just stood there looking into each other's eyes, worn irises staring into equally deep worn ones. Nerves for reasons she didn't know of made Elsie quickly look away despite the deep desire to kiss him building up inside her and she turned away slightly trying to find some sort of distraction.

"I ugh… I think it's time we went back, no doubt our break is probably over" she said looking back at him hesitantly.

Charles nodded, unable to form words and together they walked back, neither of them quite sure where they stood.

It was quite obvious to both of them that there were feelings that were more than friendship between them but what confused them and made them hesitate was not knowing how deep the others feelings were. Their friendship was a rare one, a treasure so defined and rarely found that neither wanted to damage it on something could just be a mere infatuation. And so now as they walked up the garden back to their professional posts they kept their mouths shuts until they were completely sure, despite possible strain it would put on them if they continued to keep their deep and inner most feelings for each other hidden.

Authors note: Thank you for all the reviews so far, they truly are a treasure! In the next chapter we unfortunately see the old stern side of Mr Carson but do not fear all will be amended I assure you! Please review! I really do love to hear what you think! :D Thank you! :DDDD


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

A few weeks went by and news of how deep Brittan was getting involved in the war disturbed everyone. The family and staff tried to stay positive but however much they tried the air around them just became thicker and thicker with anticipation and restlessness.

That night during the staff's dinner did the seriousness of the war become too apparent when the doorbell rang. Elsie had watched Charles go to answer the door; the tension between them lately increasing to such a stage where when they were in a room together you could practically see the tension following in waves.

She continued to eat, her thoughts relaxing at the happy chatter of the staff around her when Charles came in, his face blank. To anyone else his stance would just seem normal but Elsie had known him far too long and the fear she saw in his eyes struck her to the very core. Looking down she saw a yellow piece of paper and her heart sank as she dropped her folk and quickly stood in shock.

Everyone turned to look at her, confused at her unusual behaviour and soon followed her gaze to the piece of paper where everyone drew deadly silent.

Mr Carson cleared his throat, his authority very much needed in that moment "Can I ask everyone to leave, apart from Mrs Hughes and Daisy" he said his tone commanding and everyone stood, quickly leaving.

Daisy stood there, her small naïve form shaking "That's… that's not for me?... is it?" she said tears brimming in her eyes.

Elsie walked over to her and wrapped a reassuring arm around her "Even if it is my dear, you don't know what it's going to say" she said trying to reassure the poor girl.

Charles walked forward slowly "I'm sorry daisy, but it is" he said handing it to her, fearing the worst of its content.

Daisy took it her hand shaking and quickly read it, her eyes widened and her mouth opened with horror. A sob escaped her and her legs lost all feeling, her body dropping before Charles caught her and Elsie clinging to the girl as well as they lowered her to the ground gently. Elise took the girl in her arms trying to soothe the hysterical Daisy as they sat on the stone cold floor.

Charles took the telegram and read it, his eye closing in sadness.

Elsie who was almost in tears, her heart breaking for the girl looked up at Charles, her eyes pleading to him to tell her what had happened.

In understanding he mouthed to her 'Her brother's dead' he said and Elsie gripped Daisy tighter.

"Oh my child, I am so sorry" she whispered and pressed a kiss to Daisy's forehead.

There was nothing either of them could do, so they sat there, Elsie holding Daisy and Charles pulling up a chair to sit beside them, somehow trying to offer some support. An hour had to have past at least and Daisy had cried herself to sleep in Elsie's arms who was dropping off herself against the cupboard. Charles smiled at the sight but his heart broke for Daisy. Getting up quietly he nudged Elsie.

Elsie stirred and opened her blurry eyes to see Charles looking down at her with such gentle and comforting eyes.

"We need to put her to bed" he whispered and Elsie nodding as Charles helped lift Daisy off her. Soon enough they were both up and Charles lifted up the girls light form and carried her to her room with Elsie in tow.

When they reached her room Elsie quickly opened the covers and Charles put her down. He lay her down and Elsie watched in awe as he tucked a strand of hair behind the girl's ear. Though he didn't voice his feelings she knew how he felt, everyone in this house was like family, even their employers and to see one of them hurt or loose a loved one was equally painful for them.

She walked over and touched his shoulder making him turn and look at her "Its ok, I can do the rest" she said gently.

Charles didn't want to leave but knew he had to so standing up straight he turned and left despite his extreme reluctance.

O00o0o0o

After taking care of Daisy, Elsie had retired for the night. She locked up the house and turned off the lamps and finally returned to her room. She changed into her nightgown and let down her long curly hair. The temptation of a bath was indeed great but found it was rather late and instead opted for an early morning wash. Climbing into bed she turned out the lamp and snuggled down.

Her mind wandered in and out of thoughts, sleep and rest unreachable. Her heart truly did go out to Daisy, the war had barely begun and innocent lives were already being lost. It was not fair, a life lost and for what? So they could show their pride for their country, it was surely a costly way to show their dedication and her heart disagreed with it immensely.

But what could she do? She was a mere woman, a woman with no rights or power, it was this thought that plagued her most. She wanted so much to show everyone reason but she knew it would not help. Everyman in the world was dedicated to his country, no matter where he came from or what position he held a man's pride was a great cost in times like these.

Even earlier as Charles walked in, for just a moment she had seen that flicker of regret; It needed no explanation for she already knew the words he had spoken barely a month ago 'For now I'm not going anywhere' were unfolding. That time was soon passing and the thought of signing up was weighing heavily on his mind. She could see it on his face when there was any mention of the war, which was becoming increasingly spoken of.

She did not want him to leave; she honestly didn't think she could handle it. Turning she lay on her back and looked up at the celling. If he left things would not be the same, so many hours of gentle talks and comfortable companionship would be lost. The thought of what must have been running through his mind all those weeks ago when she had been proposed to and the possibility of her leaving ran through the air. She now knew how he felt and she could not bare it.

Getting out of bed she turned on her lamp and left her room. Quickly she crossed the hall to Charles's room, she thought about knocking but doing so would cause him to open the door for her and therefore an explanation would be required and right now explanations seem to hard, too set in stone. And so without knocking she entered his room.

His room was much like hers, not huge but not small like the rest of the staffs just a reasonable yet spacious size. She smiled when she saw him in his bed, his back to her and no doubt sleeping. Quietly she walked in further and set her lamp down on a desk in the corner before going to the other side of the bed.

She hesitated for a moment looking at his peaceful features but she couldn't stop herself and she sat down on the side of the bed, watching as he stirred gently.

At first he jumped slightly but she he calmed quickly when he heard her voice "Sshh it's only me, I didn't mean to frighten you so" she said quietly.

He blinked a few times before sitting up "Are you alright? Has something happened?" he said worriedly.

Elsie shook her head quickly "Oh no no no, nothing has happened everything is quite alright. I just… I…" her heart stopped "I just wanted to see you" she whispered, searching his eyes for something she couldn't describe, something she wasn't sure was even there, understanding.

He did not smile just nodded and looked at her, the expression she held one of such clarity and beauty yet laced with such sadness.

He cleared his throat slightly "Did… did you want to talk?" he offered gently and Elsie shook her head.

"No" she whispered so quietly it was barely audible.

Charles sighed and looked down. He knew why she was here, he knew the reason she had come but he could not give an answer. His heart was burdened and his head oh so confused. He felt it was it would be a betrayal if he did not go to war yet at the same time it would be a betrayal to all the people he cared about if he went. And now looking into her eyes, such honesty and something he could only dream of inside them did he start to break.

He looked at her "Elsie…"

"Please" she begged him as she cut him off not sure what she begging him of.

He sighed again and Elsie looked away tears brimming in her eyes. She had her answer, she knew he would not stay, a thing such as pride was too greater sway, something too easily influenced.

Still looking away she spoke "Why?" she whispered her voice breaking.

"I have not made decision" he protested.

"Yes you have" she said back "You tell yourself you haven't but deep down you know you have" she whispered closing her eyes.

"That is not true" he said his deep voice washing over her.

She turned and looked at him "Isn't it?" she said her eyes hopeful yet accusing at the same time and Charles looked down in defeat "See, you know I am right. Stop fooling yourself!" she said anger suddenly coming over her.

He wanted to protest and say that he had not come to decision but he could not. He was so confused; at times he knew he would go yet at others he knew he could not.

This was it, this is what had stopped them, stopped them from giving in, stopped them from professing their feelings, for they knew he would go, they knew he would not stay.

Elsie shook her head "I… I cannot be angry, because… you are my friend… just my friend" she said somehow trying to separate the unacknowledged love between them.

Charles nodded in understanding. He reached out gently and took her hand "My friend" he said offering a small smile and Elsie smiled back.

Carefully he placed a hand on her hip and drew her closer causing her to lie down with him despite the little room on the single bed.

She did not question his actions and followed his lead, turning away from him as he spooned up against her back and drew the covers over them.

He placed his hand over her stomach and she took his hand in hers before speaking "Friends don't usually sleep in each other's beds" she whispered.

He smiled "True, but they do when they are in need of comfort" he whispered back before taking their connected hands and kissing them.

Elsie smiled and drew their connected hands close to her chest, the intimacy of the gesture making their hearts flutter. The words 'I love you' couldn't have seemed more appropriate in that moment but she kept her mouth shut and slowly drifted off to sleep, the man she kept so secretly close to her heart soothing her dreams as she slept.

Authors note: I am rather pleased with this chapter, despite its sadness. What do you guys think? I have great plans for the next chapter so stay close by! Please please review I really really really do love to hear what you think, good or bad! Thank you! :D


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5

Early the next morning Elsie woke up still ensconced in Charles's embrace. She smiled at the fact that she was there, the thought making her stomach flip and the need to stay so deep. But despite these deep desires and wants she knew she had to leave. She turned slowly looking at his features and smiled sadly, the conversation of last night still swimming through her mind. Gently she leaned forward and kissed the edge of his lips before getting up and leaving, careful not to wake him.

The rest of the day past without incident just a plain normal day and soon enough the staff were eating around the large table in the kitchen.

The main topic around the table was of course the war, everyone sharing their opinions on it. Elsie and Charles kept their mouths shut the subject too tender and instead listened to the other staffs thoughts on the impacting subject.

"…Though I think the men who entered are indeed brave and should be praised I myself think there are men still in need here and I wish to stay here" William finished.

Elsie smiled "Well I think that's a good idea William"

Thomas scoffed as he played with a cigarette "He's just saying that because he's a wimp and doesn't want to go" he said and Charles looked at him with fury.

"Thomas!" he snapped.

Thomas smiled slyly "What? It's true, he's got no balls and he's a coward"

Elsie narrowed her eyes at him "I think that's enough Thomas!" she said and Charles continued.

"Mrs Hughes is right, that's enough! If William wishes to stay here and help his country here, then that is his decision and he should not be judged for it!" he shouted.

Thomas stood up "You don't think that, you know he is just too scared to face the enemy. It's people like me who want to help, he's just scared and doesn't care if people get killed" he said walking towards the door.

Charles slammed his hands against the table "THAT'S ENOUGH!" he shouted everyone flinching at his violence.

Mr Bates stood, his anger a little more under control "Thomas that really is enough, I think you should leave" he said pointing to the door but Elsie had a bad feeling it had only just begun.

Thomas laughed as he looked at a fuming Mr Carson "Actually I think I'll stay. Why are you so defending of him Mr Carson? Are you staying? Are you not going to serve you country?" he said smirking.

Elsie bit her lip did this boy not know when to stop! She thought.

"What I do is none of your concern!" he shouted as he walked forward and Elsie grabbed him arm.

"Mr Carson" she said quietly in warning.

Thomas looked at her and then him "Oh I see. She's got you wrapped around her finger hasn't she?"

Even Mrs O'Brien stood up now "Thomas, I think you've gone far enough!" Though she wasn't the nicest of staff she knew where the line was, she walked it finely but never did she dare cross it, not like Thomas was doing now.

Thomas held a hand up to her "No Sarah, I think Mr Carson here is hiding a lot more than he says wouldn't you agree Mrs Hughes?" he said still smiling.

Elsie felt sick and confused all at the same time "Thomas I don't know what on earth you are talking about!" she snapped back.

Thomas laughed "Well I'll tell you what I think. I think that Mr Carson here is defending William because he himself isn't going to go to war either. And the reason he is not going is because he is far too comfortable, far too comfortable bedding Mrs Hughes" he finished.

It was then that all hell broke lose. Charles charged forward despite Elsie's protests. Mr Bates quickly grabbed Mr Carson.

"Mr Carson, Charles this isn't the way" he said restraining the older man.

"HOW DARE YOU INCINUATE THAT I AM SLEEPING WITH MRS HUGHES!" he shouted as Elsie came up to him, holding his arm as she somehow tried to calm him.

Thomas who was in the door way between the kitchen and outside raised an eyebrow "So my eyes were deceiving me when I saw Mrs Hughes leaving your room this morning?" he said and it was Elsie's turn to speak now, her anger no longer under control.

"What I was doing in Mr Carson's room this morning is none of you concern! Mr Carson and I are indeed close, that's what happens when you work with someone for a long time, but your insulting and vulgar accusations are out of order!" she shouted and Anna lay a hand on her shoulder to stop her from going too far.

Thomas thought for a moment but looked at her smiling "That may be true, but you don't deny it. I truly did think you were a spinster Mrs Hughes" he said shaking his head "I never did take you for a whore" he said.

The whole room went silent, shocked faces all around and Charles looked at Mr Bates. Mr bates shrugged, a silent agreement passing between them before releasing his grip on him. Before he knew it Thomas was being thrown out of the door and a punch lading him square in the face from Charles.

"GET OUT!" he yelled dragging the man up the drive way and out the gates.

Thomas banged on them "HEY you can't do that, what about my belongings?" he shouted as Mr Carson walked away.

"WHERE YOU'RE GOING YOU WONT NEED THEM!" he yelled back.

When Charles walked back into the kitchen everyone grew silent apart from William who walked forward "I'm sorry Mr Carson that was entirely my fault" he said but Charles cut him off.

"No it was not, Thomas was out of order, and you had nothing to do with it" he said and William nodded "If you will excuse me I think I need some air" he said going back out but this time towards the large gardens.

The staff watched him go before Elsie spoke "Finish eating, I'll see to Mr Carson" she said walking out the same way Charles had gone.

Though it was dark Elsie soon found him, his tall form resting against a tree. He smiled gently when he saw her coming.

"Are you alright?" she said as she neared him.

Charles nodded "Are you?" he replied.

"As good as can be everything considered" she said.

He looked at her intently before speaking "Should you be out here given what the rest of the staff might think after Thomas's, untrue, outburst?" he said gently.

Elsie knew in part he was right but as she stood there with him, she did not care "Maybe, but at this moment I am more concerned about my friend than what the rest of staff will choose to gossip about for the next few weeks" she said stepping closer and taking his hands in hers.

Reluctantly he drew his hands away and Elsie frowned in confusion.

"You should go back, it looks as though there is a storm is coming" he said looking up at the dark sky, the grey clouds covering the deep blue night.

He was pushing her away and she didn't know why, oh how she wanted to know "I like storms, you should know" she said referring to the many time he had caught her outside during the rare free time they were given just standing there as the rain soaked her skin.

He sighed still looking at the sky "Mrs Hughes…"

"No! Don't you dare! Don't shut me out, I want to know what's wrong I want to help you" pleaded nearing him again only for him to walk away.

She huffed and walked after him the first drops of rain signalling the oncoming down pour.

"Charles!" she shouted trailing after him.

Charles did not look back but continued trying hard to ignore Elsie's calls "Go back Mrs Hughes!" he shouted.

She lifted up her dress and gained her pacing trying to catch up with him "Stop walking away from me, you know I won't give up I will follow you to the ends of the earth if I have to Charles" she shouted catching his arm and making him turn to face her, the rain now starting to pour properly.

"I compromised you!" he shouted finally.

Elsie looked at him for a moment before she shook her head confused "What on earth do you mean, I am 62 I can hardly be compromised" she retorted back her chest rising and falling at a fast rate.

"Of course you can and I have. Any status and power you had over the staff will now be over looked with scandal from me!" he shouted tearing his arm from her grip and started walking away only for her to grab him again.

"Hold on there, what they think of me does not matter! I know the truth and so long as I do they can't do anything to me" she protested both of them now soaked as droplets ran down their bodies and faces, the cold water caressing their skin.

"I don't understand how anything that we have done is compromising!" she continued only for Charles to interrupt her, his voice growing deeper by every second.

"Well what is compromising to you Elsie?" he shouted and she knew his anger was over taking him "Is this not compromising?" he said grabbing her waist and pressing her against him.

"Charles!" she protested knowing he was going too far, but she couldn't help the rush of excitement that rushed through her as he pressed her soaked body against his.

"Or this?" he said ripping open a few buttons on the top of her dress and quickly kissing her neck before she could even process what he was doing. As his lips met the skin on her neck she gasped, his tongue traced sweet circles before nipping at the wet skin gently and then finally kissing it sweetly.

He continued his assault and Elsie barely managed to protest, the rush of emotions overwhelming "Charles… Mr Carson stop!" she breathed out placing a weak hand on his chest.

He drew back only this time, his eyes gentle and caring "Or this?" he said, cupping her cheek and bringing his face down to hers slowly. Gently he caught her lips in a light caress, their lips and tongues barley touching, before kissing her a little more deeply. At first Elsie couldn't move, couldn't respond but slowly he brought up his other hand, both of them now cupping her face as she gripped his waist and she couldn't help but kiss him back. Their bodies seemed to meld into each other as the kiss grew in intensity, his tongue licking her bottom lip silently asking for permission to enter. Elsie could not resist and opened her mouth, their tongues collided immediately and Elsie moaned in delight, her hands sliding further up his back.

When they broke apart they were both panting and though air was desperately needed they couldn't help but kiss gently as they caught their breath back.

Charles shook his head and spoke "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that, I was out of order and…"

"Stop, please stop. I was a willing participant so stop blaming everything on yourself" she said looking at him, eyes sparkling and Charles couldn't help but smile.

With a cheeky smile he spoke "Now you certainly have been compromised" he said his hands wrapped around her waist as hers lay comfortably on his chest, the rain still pouring, but neither of them cared or really noticed.

"Hardly, and even if I were, I wouldn't care" she said stroking his cheek… "Don't leave" she whispered and Charles closed his eyes.

Taking the palm of her hand he kissed it before looking at her, her usually neatly pinned back hair, hanging lose in parts and dripping wet. The collar of her dress hung open, exposing her delicate neck, her creamy skin so inviting and lips swollen from their kiss, to him she had never looked more beautiful. From that moment he knew he could not leave, he didn't want to. He had a life a home a family and a companion so rarely found, he could not and would not give that up.

"I won't" he replied.

But though this all seemed like a fairy tale, a perfect end to a perfect story it was far from, he too shared Elsie's doubts. They had been friends for so long, a true and delicate friendship, he didn't want that ruined yet he didn't want to give up on attaining more.

Elsie looked into his eyes and saw the same doubts and worries that plagued her mind pass through them "Easy, we will take it easy. One step at a time" she whispered and Charles nodded smiling before kissing the edge of her lips with such tender care.

As if in a trance Charles Reached out and touched the hollow of her throat, marvelling in the way the rain drops ran down her skin. Elsie swallowed watching his face as he touched her so intimately.

Unfortunately that was thing with them; they said one thing and did another, always contradicting their personal actions. He traced lower, his hand trailing down her skin until he could go no further the dress confining her so. In many ways she was thankful that he could go no lower but in other ways she was creaming in frustration, the need to feel him eating away at her.

Instead he trailed his fingers back up before redoing the buttons he had so un-ceremonially and inappropriately torn apart.

Once they were done he looked at her "I am so very sorry, I should not have lashed out as I did" he said sadly.

Elsie smiled in understanding and took his hands before kissing them "I know but you were angry and frustrated. I forgive you" she said keeping his hands close to her lips.

Together they stood there so unsure of the future ahead. In some ways things seemed so bright and hopeful but they also knew how easily things could change and sometimes not for the better.

Authors note: Mmm not too sure about this chapter really not, It would be greatly appreciated if you could tell us what you think! Still more to come so don't worry! Thank you! :D


	6. Chapter 6

Part 6

After a few more minutes standing outside they walked back to the house, Charles holding her close to keep her warm from the wet rain that still poured down. As they came nearer the house they reluctantly pulled apart and walked inside. Some of the staff were still in the kitchen, so when Charles and Elsie came in dripping wet and looking a little worse for wear their mouths couldn't help but drop open.

After a few seconds of constant staring Elsie decided she had had enough "And what may I ask are you are all staring rudely open mouthed at?" Elsie said in a warning tone. Everyone immediately closed their mouths and mumbled 'nothing' before diverting their eyes or attending to a job which had already been done.

Elsie's eye narrowed but in a kind and none threatening manner "Mmmhmm" she said disbelievingly.

Charles smiled at her authority and thought back to his outburst moments ago, maybe he underestimated her he thought as he followed her to the servants quarters. Finally she stopped at her room and turned to look at him.

They both knew that it was time for them part but something held them, stopping their feet from moving. Elsie looked at Charles, his usually neat combed hair drooping forward on his face. As if by pure instinct she stepped forward and reached out, brushing the piece of hair back into place, as she raked her hand through his salt and pepper hair relishing in its softness.

It felt so natural to be there, so normal to be stroking his hair in such an intimate manner. She tried to think back to when she first had feelings for him, but for the life of her she could not pin point it. Maybe there was no start; maybe it had been there all along, seeping through their actions and accidental touches. For love was not a thing grown over night, it developed so slowly like a person. It starts of so small, so young and naïve until finally it's bloomed and contains such exquisite things it's unimaginable.

Stepping back she cleared her throat and looked down, she had to move, had to do something, standing like this was ridiculous!

Finding her voice, however hoarse or quiet, she spoke "I ugh… um goodnight Mr Carson" she said turning away quickly and entering her room.

He smiled despite her quick exit "Goodnight Mrs Hughes" he said before turning and trailing off to his own room.

O0o0oo0o0o00

The next week went by too quickly for either of their liking. Lady Sybil continued to buy such unusual dresses, if they could even be called that and it seemed that the tension between Lady Mary and Lady Edith grew in strength that it was hard not to notice it. Though Branson and Lady Sybil tried to hide it, their secret relationship had grown, glances were becoming longer and you could almost see sparks ignite as their hands touched when he helped her out of the car. Times were indeed changing Elsie knew and though she would love nothing more than Lady Sybil and Branson to form an official relationship, minds and elders alike still frowned upon such classes crossing, it was thought scandalous.

Rumours of Lady Mary already circulated not only the lower class but the higher as well, her reputation was slipping, had slipped even and so was the family's. If Lady Sybil did indeed decide to continue with Branson the family reputation would be gone, its foundations firmly stamped with scandal. Elsie sighed and shook her head of such depressing thoughts as she walked through the house checking everything was in order, years of rules and regulations drummed into her so much so that to her everything she did was just by pure instinct. Every check, every party, everything down to the very last details, all of them no longer thought about just automatically done.

She was passing through a large but cosy room when a hand suddenly came out and pulled her into a little alcove that lead to a small library. She screamed but a hand over her mouth cut her off before suddenly turning her around.

Automatically she relaxed when she saw Charles's face and his hand slipped away from her mouth and came to rest on her arm. At first she wacked him playfully on the arm as he chuckled but as quickly as it had come her anger melted away and she stood on her tip toes and kissed him sweetly on the edge of his lips.

Looking back at him she spoke "You scared the living day lights out of me Charles!" she exclaimed yet a smile gracing her lips.

Charles smiled "Forgive me, that was not my intention at all" he replied.

Elsie bit her lip, her body convulsing with shivers at his deep voice "Oh? And what was your intention?" she said teasing him slightly.

Charles couldn't help but chuckle her teasing him, making the days seem so much brighter "Well first off, not to scare you and secondly to ask you out" he said looking at her intently.

She rose her eyebrow "Out?"

Charles nodded "Yes, on a date I suppose…"

"But Charles we don…"

"I know, I know. We do not have a day off anytime soon but I was hoping that this afternoon when the family leaves for the Enton's party I was hoping we could find some time, nothing fancy, though if I could spoil you I would, just a nice piece of time together in this library and with some food" he finished nervously.

Elsie smiled at his obvious nerves and stepped forward so their bodies were touching "Would you steal another bottle of wine for us?" she teased.

Charles chuckled and Elsie delighted in the vibrations of his chest against hers "For you my dear, I would steal a thousand bottles of wine" he said stroking her cheek.

"Then I will come. I would very much love to go out with you tonight Charles Carson" she said and Charles smiled with joy.

"Wonderful! I will meet you in the kitchen at 6.30?" he asked.

Elsie nodded smiling; words no longer in her reach. The simple sight of him and everything he meant making words and everything around her unreachable, words almost not good enough, too restricting.

Charles smiled gently at the hazed look in Elsie's eyes and so carefully he bent down, cupping her cheek and kissed her fully. Their lips collided softly, both of them parting their lips gently so their tongues could once again embrace. The sensation was indescribable, butterflies filling Elsie's stomach and her chest tightening exquisitely. Charles too felt overwhelmed and brought her closer as Elsie's hands slipped down Charles's back.

The heat and warm sensation that filled Elsie's lower stomach was growing and she knew if they did not stop now, one thing would lead to another and she would regret it for the rest of her life. So reluctantly Elsie pulled away, both of their lips red and fully kissed.

Charles stepped back "I'm sorry I di…"

"Stop! Will you just stop? Stop with all the guilt, you don't need to apologise. I wanted to kiss you, I let you kiss me. If I did not wish to be kissed I would tell you so" she said looking at him.

Charles nodded his smile slowly returning.

Elsie stepped away her eyes never leaving his "In the kitchen at 6.30" she said before smiling and walking away once again leaving Charles in a state of wonder and wrapped up in her simple elegance.

0oo0o0o0o0

The day passed quickly both of them wrapped up in what would come tonight and soon enough 6.30 had come.

Charles was the first to arrive and quickly packed a little basket of food and wine before the rest of the staff turned up from their breaks and for dinner.

Elsie too must have realised this for she soon turned up after Charles arrived. He smiled as he saw her walk in, her cheeks flustered from the day's work.

She smiled back in return and her heart beat that tiny bit faster as she came into his presence "Good evening Mr Carson" she addressed formally just encase a member of staff came in.

Charles understood "Good evening Mrs Hughes are you ready?" he asked his voice that little bit more cheerful.

"Yes" she replied.

Nodding they walked quickly and quietly to the small library barely used. There was a larger one nearer the middle of the house which was more frequently used due to its wider range and though this one was smaller it was still used but not that often, hence its perfectness for a little privacy.

When they finally arrived, thanking the heavens they hadn't bumped into anyone on the way, they breathed a small sigh of relief and immediately relaxed around each other.

Setting the basket down on a table in the middle of the room Elsie shut the door before going over and helping take out the food. Taking it out she laughed and rested her head against Charles's arm as giggles over took her.

Charles laughed "What?" he said still laughing softly.

Elsie shook her head and looked at the food on the table; it was the same as when they got locked in the store cupboard, even right down to the sauce and wine.

"That sauce was thrown away weeks ago, how did you…"

Charles nodded and cut in "I know, I called in a favour from Mrs Patmore, she was very happy to do it to thank you for being part of the reason she got her glasses and has stayed. And before you say it, she has promised not to breathe a word about why we need the sauce" he finished and Elsie wasn't sure, but after a few minutes she relaxed and silently set about getting some glasses for the wine before pulling up a chair beside him and setting the wine glasses on the small coffee table in front.

Let the night begin she thought as she watched him pour the wine...

Authors note: Ahhh, I'm sooo sorry I haven't updated recently my goodness my life had been busy! Anyway thought I might give you this little chapter so you can look forward to their date in the next! Please review thank you! :D


	7. Chapter 7

Part 7

Handing Elsie her glass of wine he smiled "So how has your week been?"

Elsie smiled as she looked at him revelling in this sweet peace between them "Good, nothing out of the ordinary, though of late a mysterious man has been prone to sweeping me into dark corners for a few moments giving me a sweet kiss" she said teasing him "I will have to look into it more, it's getting rather distracting" she said with a cheeky smile and Charles couldn't help but chuckle.

He watched as she took a sip of her wine, her eyes never leaving his as she waited for his response "Yes I can see how that could become distracting as you call it" he said putting his wine on the table and taking some bread before dipping it in the sauce and eating it. Savouring is rich creamy taste.

Elsie nodded as she followed his actions with her eyes "And what about you? How has your week been?" she replied before digging into the food too.

Charles swayed his head from side to side before speaking "Not too bad although the rumours of Young Mr Crawley's leaving for good has shook everyone up upstairs which always make things a little more difficult" he said smiling sadly.

Elsie nodded her head in understanding again as she reached back for her wine, the alcohol as always helping to relax her heart that always beat that little bit faster when in the presence of the man seated in front of her.

Charles smiled as he watched Elise drink her wine. He loved it when she did that, the way she drank her wine yet her eyes never leaving his, always connected. Something about it was so sensual, sparks igniting just by that mere moment, her tongue occasionally darting out to take any droplets from the edge of the glass.

Taking the glass away from her mouth Elsie raised an almost seductive eyebrow at Charles "What?" Charles looked away laughing before looking back at her; oh she knew what she was doing he thought.

"Nothing my dear though I do question if your entire motive is all so innocent" he said smirking.

Elsie's jaw dropped down at such an outright comment but she couldn't help the small smile etching its way around her mouth "Charles Carson!" she laughed.

Charles chuckled "Forgive me, I could not resist" he said, his deep rumble effecting her so deliciously.

Elsie shook her head "And here I was thinking you were such a gentleman" she quipped back.

Charles smiled again and revelled in the warm sensations taking over his body, the automatic response to her mere presence undeniable. For a few minutes they just stared at each other, so many things passing between them through that electrical silence, waves of something that could only be called pure want running in waves across the small expanse that separated them.

Elise too, felt it and couldn't deny the lustful tension that surrounded them. Though she wanted it, whatever it was, she couldn't unleash what could only be described as their passion just yet. Reluctantly she tore her gaze away from his and stood, idly walking around the small library, anything to put some distance between them for she knew if she did not, deep desires would surely be released.

Clearing her throat she spoke, her eyes drifting over the enchanting stories that were encased by their covers as she did so "What made you do this?" she said not looking at him.

Charles followed her with his eyes "Do what?"

Elsie turned and looked at him "This, this small moment. It's not like you, you're usually so guarded, so abiding by the rules" she said curiously "Yet now, with me, in this library you've come undone, in the past few weeks I've seen more of the real you than I have in the whole entire time we have worked together"

Charles smiled at her revelation, her words were true, but with her, around her, he felt like he could be himself, no longer the strict butler "I feel relaxed around you. Sometimes being the rule abiding strict butler can be tiresome, when I'm with you I don't feel the need to be that person I can just be merely me" he finished with a small gesture of his hands.

Elsie smiled and her heart leapt at his confession. To know that he could feel that relaxed around her made her stomach flip, the air once again becoming thick with tamed desire.

Feeling more confident and at ease she walked back round to him but instead of sitting back on her chair she took up the spot small spot on the couch which Charles was sitting on. Charles, always watching her, smiled at the subtle gesture of intimacy. He couldn't describe this feeling, it was overloaded, filled with such passions and contradictions it was almost too confusing. But what he did know for certain was that there was nowhere else he would rather be than here in her presence.

Taking her wine he put it on the table then carefully shifted them. Elsie let him, following his lead till they were lain out on the couch Elsie on top as Charles lay underneath her, both of them snuggling up to each other.

As Elsie shifted into a comfortable position she looked at him "I'm not too heavy am i?"

Charles chuckled "My dear if you were any lighter you wouldn't exist"

Elsie scoffed and rolled her eyes "Sweet talk won't get you anywhere Mr Carson" she teased looking into his deep dark eyes.

His eyes scoured over her face taking her in, how did they get here? Get to this point? He wanted so much to pin point the moment, know when this beautiful madness began be he could not, it was impossible. His heart pounded and his hand ran down her hip making Elsie's breaths come a little deeper.

"Are you sure?" he said, desire lacing his voice.

Elsie swallowed and couldn't help but feel as though the floor was about to collapse, passion and pure desire, engulfing her. She nodded slowly "I'm sure" she whispered her accent coming back to her, its soft lull washing over him.

Gently she bent down and their lips touched. Both of them melting into the other as their lips and tongues collided. Elsie met his every stroke and touch trying with all her might to give him back every sweet caress he gave her. Though the touches were small, just mere caresses, Elsie felt as if she were on fire, her hands gripping his waist and arm tighter as he pulled her closer, his tongue exploring her mouth exquisitely.

The broke apart Elsie gasping as he moved down her jaw trailing feather light kisses down to her neck where he nipped gently and kissed sweetly. Elsie bit her lip but couldn't help the small whimper that escaped her lips, all of her emotions and feelings building, combining together to create that sweet rush of pleasure, going straight to her core.

Charles smiled at the sound that escaped her, his groin twitching, but he cast his own desires aside and flicked open the first few buttons of her black dress, exposing her neck more.

Elsie let him, her own hands stroking down his arms and anywhere she could reach but as he trailed lower the buttons getting lower and lower "Wait!" she pulled away, her breaths ragged and uneven.

Charles looked at her worried "Elsie?"

Elsie swallowed such strong emotions clouding her usually wise and controlled brain "I…" she stopped.

Charles sat up slightly and touched her arm "Did I hurt you?"

Elise looked at him in shock "No! goodness no, quite the opposite in fact" she trailed off.

Charles frowned and drew her closer "I don't understand" he said trying so desperately to know what was going through her mind.

Elsie looked into his eyes, everything she ever hoped shining through them "I… I don't… I never thought I wou…" she stuttered unable to find the words her mind was desperately scrambling to find.

"Never thought what?" he said trying to help her.

"I don't know how, I never thought I would get here, to this stage of a relationship" she sighed "I don't how to make you happy… physically" she whispered quietly, almost ashamed.

Charles's worried expression slowly turned into that of a smile, her innocence and vulnerability which she rarely showed making him smile. Reaching out he stroked her cheek Elsie leaning into his warm loving palm "I would never ask you to go that far" he said gently, the subject tender "and what you were doing just then was perfectly fine" he said trying to sooth and calm her worries.

Though he hadn't completely confirmed his feelings for her he knew that she knew and he knew that she felt the same but though the love between them was strong, they were not married and so such things as making love and heavy petting were still unknown territory and rather tender subjects.

Elsie shook her head "I am a foolish old woman, I cannot…" she got up tears brimming in her eyes as she walked towards a book shelf, anywhere away from him.

Charles' heart sank as he watched her walk away. So many lines had been crossed between them in the past month or so, both taking it carefully but maybe this was it, maybe they couldn't go on, instead of crossing the line maybe this one was shattering, breaking, taking them down and into painful, unwanted territory. No, he would not accept this, could not accept this he thought as he quickly got up and walked after her "Elsie…"

Elsie heard him move and turned "No! Please Charles! I cannot give you what you wish, I don't…" her heart hurt her head hurt everything hurt. She may have been proposed to twice but all they had ever really done was petting, nothing this passionate and uncontrollable. When she was with Charles she didn't know whether she was coming her going, every touch felt like fire and when they kissed she didn't know where she started or he ended, they were like one. She loved this man with all of her being but she was old and a virgin. She was inexperienced so how could she please this wonderful man when she knew not what she was doing?

Elsie wiped her tears furiously "I'm 62 and still a virgin Charles, I may be inexperienced and unknowledgeable about these things but I do know the need of a man and I know I cannot and will not be able to ever satisfy it" she said trying to hold her composure but failing most miserably.

Charles tried to speak but she continued "You know what you are doing, I do not. You told me long ago of the love you once had and how she had satisfied you greatly. You may have been drunk but you were indeed infatuated with her I could tell. I know I will not be the same!" she wept, no longer able to look at him as she leant her head against the book shelf trying desperately to hide her tears.

Charles didn't know what to do, she thought he had wanted more, how could have he have been so stupid as to scare her so? He wanted with all his heart to show her the physical love between a man and a woman but not like this, he would only show her were they married, how he could have been as stupid as to not tell her this?

"Elsie…" she shook her head refusing to listen.

"Elsie please, listen to me" he said turning her and making her look at him "I would never ask you to come to bed with me unless we were married. Call me old fashioned but those are the rules I abide by. I am sorry…"

Elsie cut him off "No, you don't understand. I would let you take me here and now if you asked, my bones would ache and at our age our hips my never work again but I would let you. What scares me is my inexperience, I want you to be happy, I want you to find someone who can give you what you need, I fear that I can do no such thing" she said no longer caring about improper conversations or impropriety.

Carson looked at her with those big deep eyes, his gentle gaze making her insides melt "But I have found her, the stubborn yet vulnerable beautiful woman who stands before me. I don't care if you are the most experienced woman in the world" he almost laughed when she glared at him but he continued "Or the most inexperienced, I…" he smiled and touched her cheek as she stared lovingly up at him "I love you and if we were to be married and only then, I would teach you, slowly and surely, but I would show you and guide you" he said gently and Elsie's tears had come back but this time they were of joy.

Elsie's heart had never felt so full, desire, passion, love, fear, heartbreak, lust, happiness, all of them and more filling her heart so much so that she felt like it was bursting. How could this man, this mere mortal, born and bred in a low class make her feel like a goddess?

Her fears swept aside, no longer caring of her inexperience Elsie grabbed Charles's head and kissed him passionately. Not to prove anything just to show him all the passion and love she had for him. Charles moaned as she licked his bottom lip with her tongue and he wrapped his arms around her waist, crushing his body against her as hers was crushed up against the book shelf.

As they kissed Elsie's hands moved down his back and up again before pushing his jacket off his shoulders, it dropping to the floor with a gentle thud. Charles pulled away afraid they were going too fast "Elise…" but she cut him off as she kissed him sweetly.

Charles complied letting her lead and though things were traveling in a far more pleasurable direction he would not let it go too far, he had too much respect for her.

His lips were just traveling down her jaw when she suddenly Elsie put a firm hand to his chest. He frowned for what felt like the millionth time today and spoke "What is…" she put her finger to her lips, indicating for him to be quiet as she listened.

There in the distance they could hear faint footsteps and what she assumed was laughter and no doubt coming this way.

Their eyes widened and they quickly moved grabbing his jacket before they looked for a place to hide. Elsie's eyes searched the room with panic when she suddenly felt a strong arm pulling her towards a coat cupboard, Charles shoving them both inside before shutting the light flimsy wooden door.

Elsie looked at him, the light coming through the gaps in the door, keeping them hidden yet letting them have almost perfect sight into the actual room.

She smiled as she looked at him the light shining on parts of his face and making his dark eyes glow. Suddenly they heard the library door opening and they held their breath watching with the ut most silence as their eyes followed shockingly two inseperable figures...

Authors note: OMG! I am soooo sorry I haven't updated lately! I have been overloaded with work etc! But Christmas is coming so hopefully it will let up! Please review and tell us what you think! Thank you! :D


	8. Chapter 8

Part 8

The sight that greeted them, though shocking, was not that unexpected. Branson and Sybil kissed their way through the door rather clumsily Elsie thought as she watched, her hand tightening on Charles's arm.

Charles looked down at her and knew why it, in a way, frightened her. Both people in front of their eyes meant a lot to her and though if circumstances allowed it she would be ecstatic, circumstances did not. Like Mary Crawley meant a lot to him Sybil meant the same to her, Sybil always coming to her for advice and sometimes a needing a shoulder, to which Elsie gladly gave, indeed this house was like no other, they were family, acknowledged or not.

Branson and Sybil broke apart and Sybil giggled as Branson smiled

"Oh what would mama think if she knew? Or Mrs Hughes even!" Sybil said as she stepped closer to the boy.

Branson smiled and stroked her cheek "Well they don't and if they did they would know that I would never force you into anything you didn't want" he said smiling and leading her over to the couch, both too wrapped up in each other to notice the food and wine.

"That's because you are a true gentleman!" Sybil said as she snuggled closer to him.

Elsie watched with what she didn't know. Was she happy? Was she sad? Oh she didn't know, she couldn't. She wanted to be happy she did truly but this was ludicrous! What would her ladyship think? what would his lordship think? They had already bumped heads, his lordship and Branson, and now to know that he held his daughters heart, oh how the thought hurt her head.

Suddenly Sybil's voice interrupted the silence "You won't leave will you?" she said looking up at the young man she lay against.

Branson put his head on top of hers and sighed "I will try with all my might to stay with you, that I swear" he promised.

With that Elsie turned and buried her head in Charles's chest, the situation too close to home. She knew what they meant. The war. Branson was of the perfect age, no doubt he would try to be recruited, or at the very least expected to sign himself up voluntarily. Oh what war did to people, to relationships and family's!

Carson wrapped his arms around her tighter but watched the scene in front of him still.

Sybil looked at the table and frowned before sitting up "We didn't have this. Did anyone have this food?, from upstairs I mean" she said looking at Branson.

Branson frowned and shook his head "I don't think so" his said his Irish accent thick and broad, in the silence.

"Someone's stealing?" Sybil said looking at him.

Elsie quickly turned and watched with worried eyes.

"I have to tell my father, too many situations of missing things arisen in this house"

"But what if it were just someone indulging?" Branson countered.

Sybil sat up straighter and scrutinised him "You know who did this?"

Branson smiled warmly "No, I'm just saying" he said taking her hands.

Sybil sighed "I know but I think I should…"

Before Charles knew it Elsie had pushed the cupboard door open exposing them as Sybil and Branson looked at them in shock.

"Mrs Hughes? Mr Carson?" Sybil said confused and shocked, the fact that they had most likely seen them kissing dawning upon her.

Mrs Hughes smiled "Forgive me, it was us, with the food and wine. When your family and you left for the party me and Mr Carson rudely and out of place thought we could possibly catch a few moments of peace, report us if you wish I just thought I would spare you and his lordship if you tell him the hassle of whom it was" she finished as Charles stood beside her and continued.

"When we heard someone coming we feared the worst and foolishly hid in the cupboard afraid of being caught off duty" he said smiling sadly "We are sorry"

Sybil smiled "There is nothing to forgive and you were off duty, we were not here, we had no assistance of you, it just so happened that i happened to be sneaking off at the same time as you two decided to rest, I'm sorry"

Elsie stepped forward "Oh no lady Sybil it is we who are in the wrong" she replied.

Sybil chuckled "Well your secret is safe with me" she said. If the other men weren't there Sybil would have hugged the older lady, unlike most people she saw the softer side of the housekeeper and saw her almost as a second grandmother.

Elsie smiled before her eyes flickered towards Branson "And yours with us" she said looking back at Sybil who bowed her head and blushed.

"You have our word" Mr Carson confirmed.

Authors note: Sorry for the short chapter, I have been entirely busy lately I will try and mend that in the future, anyway I hope you enjoyed the chapter and please please review!


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